Samples of Wedding Jokes

The wedding is considered to be a bright event. There are guests and a happy bride couple that notices only each other. Though, there is a way to turn everything even better. Wedding jokes actually reveal the hidden spirit of the marriage content. Is there a life after the wedding? No one knows; however, the wedding jokes enable to share the sad experience with the optimistic and humorous view. The wedding ceremony and celebration are the idyllic events that launch the further lives of the groom and the bride. There is a lot of fun, activities, and toasts pronounced by the guests. Many of them are the so-called wedding jokes. The mood is cheerful and everybody laughs. However, the objects of jokes are not really pleasant aspects. Nevertheless, they signify the inevitable challenges of our life and the optimism that is needed to pass them as they are. The couple mainly believes that they will manage to omit all these unpleasant issues. However, they are getting acquainted with them beforehand. Among the major topics for the wedding jokes are, actually, the loss of love after the marriage, disgust to the person of own choice, mother-in-law nasty behavior, adultery and greed. These themes aim to laugh about the case that there is nothing good after the marriage – only troubles and disappointment. The first topic is the loss of love. It is widely seen that after the honeymoon the married life becomes a hell: â€Å"When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.† â€Å"There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell†. â€Å"At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, Arent you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? The other replied, Its because I married the wrong man†. â€Å"Man is incomplete until he’s married. Then he’s finished.† Other jokes concern the greed that emerges when the wedding gifts are considered. The newly-wed had to spend a lot of money for the wedding, so they wait for the worthy presents. Other jokes may concern the financial reasons for the marriage instead of love: â€Å"Married for many years, Paul had been ignored by his wife, Liz, for some days, so eventually he confronted her with what he perceived as the problem. Come on Liz, admit it, he ranted, You only married me because my granddad left me $7 million, didnt you? You really are silly, Paul, retorted Liz loudly, I couldnt care less who left it to you,†. Therefore, there is a plenty of wedding jokes that may be found. Even though they raise laughter, they are written under the real stories – at least, there is an impression that it is so. Every couple has a chance to build the joint life in accordance with the own will and the sense of purpose and love. If people would be aware of the possible mistakes and contribute to their relationships, they would gladly accept that there is no truth for them in the wedding jokes, but more reasons to express love, respect, and caring.

Graduation Speech At St Francis Parish - 917 Words

For as long as I can remember, my parents, brother, and I woke up extremely early every Sunday morning to attend the 8am mass at Saint Francis Parish. During my formative years, I was diligent about going to church, but it was not just my parents ‘forcing’ me to regularly attend. I enjoyed going and looked forward to the experience each week. Until I made my confirmation during my sophomore year in high school, my brother and I were active in the youth ministry, attending weekly meetings for the teens who attended our church. However, things started to change from that point on, especially once I reached college. My first two years living on campus, I made friends with many people who are also practicing Catholics. Each week we would gather for the evening mass offered on campus. I was extremely proud of myself; I was not sure that I would have the diligence to attend mass without my parents’ gentle prodding. This continued until my junior year, when I decided to move off campus. Not having a place of worship two minutes from wherever I was making it all that more difficult to make the weekly trip to mass. Now, I only regularly attend mass whenever I go home for winter and summer break. Unfortunately I am still extremely conflicted in regards to my lessening enthusiasm in the Catholic Church. Over the past few months, I have been drifting further away from organized religion and more into my own spirituality. While I still agree with many of the ideals taught by theShow MoreRelatedEducation And Enlightenment Of The Handicap Essay1652 Words   |  7 Pageswent to the public school that was close to home. Our other brothers enrolled at Holy Redeemer parish school. While attending the Home School, I participated in first communion classes, learning the Baltimore Catechism, and school activities. Both Bobby and Rick attended St. Francis HS. Terry and Tom went to public high school near our home. Upon graduating from St. Francis, Bobby was accepted at St. Mary s College, a teaching order of the Christian Brothers near San Francisco. Bobby s took

Effect of External Factors on Treasury Wine Estates

Question: Discuss about the Effect of External Factors on Treasury Wine Estates. Answer: Introduction Treasury Wine Estates (TWE) is a wine making company headquartered in Southbank, Melbourne it was the wine making division of Fosters Group until a demerger in 2011. It principally operates in four regions globally; Australia and New Zealand, the Americas, Asia and Europe with over 3500 employees and 70 plus wine brands. The company posted a net profit tax of $179.4 million for the year 2016 this was more than double for the previous year (Treasury Wine Estate, 2017). External factors such as politics, economics, social, technology, environmental and legal cases (PESTEL) affect business operations. Political Factors Political factors arise from how the government is involved in the economy, government policy, trade deals, tax policy are some of the political issues that lead businesses to adjust their business strategies to stay profitable. A free trade agreement(FTA) between China and Australia will see tariffs of between 14%-30% on Australian bottled and bulk wine be phased out in four years (ABC News, 2014). The FTA deal boosted TWEs sales and profits in China and their profits have been growing steadily, US$20.6 million in 2014 jumping to US$46.5 million in 2015 and growing by 75.6 % in 2016 (Reuters, 2017, ABC, 2016). Social Factors Social factors are the shared beliefs and attitudes of people. They include population growth, age groups, health consciousness and career attitudes. Marketing departments need to have a good understanding of the social factors to understand consumer behaviors and trends. TWE through the launch of Blossom Hill, 19 Crimes and the Gentlemans collection are targeting male and female millennials aged 18-34 years. Millennials have high disposable incomes and their Friday night drinking culture makes them a lucrative target. TWE group believes this age group to have a potential of about 76million and about 16 million in impulse buying (The Australian, 2016, off license News, 2015). Technological Factors Technology in the 21st century is a must have for any business that wants to be profitable. Technological advances are important in improving quality of goods, reducing costs and improving work conditions of employees. In their Napa Valley vineyards TWE has employed an array of high tech devices to help in managing their crops. The vineyard has weather and plant sensors; a pulse pod can measure precise rainfall, color of the grapes these data is collected and is used to make accurate predictions about plants on the ground. Another great innovation used at these vine yards is the use of drones fitted with high definition cameras that allow farmers to clearly identify pests and sick plants. Early identification gives enough time to take measures that reduce losses (Kolodny, 2017). Environmental Factors Environmental factors in business started being of great concern during the last 15 years. Climate change is a global phenomenon and TWE had to change its business model to accommodate these changes. Viticulture practices were modified such as delaying ripening times to protect the vines from damage (The Weekly Times, 2016). Conclusion External business factors are important in shaping the business model of a business to attain profitability. References ABC News. 2016. Treasury Wine Estate calls on better government cooperation to boost exports to China. [ONLINE] Available at: https://www.abc.net.au/news/rural/rural-news/2016-02-19/treasury-wine-interim-profits/7183520. [Accessed 22 April 2017]. ABC News. 2014. How the China free trade agreement will affect Australian farmers. [ONLINE] Available at: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-11-18/nrn-faces-of-the-china-free-trade-agreement/5896412. [Accessed 22 April 2017]. Lora Kolodony. 2017. Uncorking innovation with Treasury Wine Estate in Napa. [ONLINE] Available at: https://techcrunch.com/2017/02/10/uncorking-innovation-with-treasury-wine-estates-in-napa. [Accessed 22 April 2017]. Off license News. 2015. Treasury Wine Estates target male millennials with Gentlemans collection launch. [ONLINE] Available at: https://offlicencenews.co.uk/news/fullstory.php/aid/15270/Treasury_Wine_Estates_targets_male_millenials_with_Gentleman_s_Collection_launch.html. [Accesses 22 April 2017]. Reuters. 2017. Australias Treasury wine posts record half-year profits in US, China demand. [ONLINE] Available at: https://www.reuters.com/article/us-twe-au-results-idUSKBN15S2IK. [Accessed 22 April 2017]. The Australian. 2016. Treasury Wine Estate Targets young women. [ONLINE] Available at: https://www.theaustralian.com.au/business/companies/treasury-wine-estates-targets-young-women/news-story/9543200c929d841b527d0eb34c4cd69d. [Accessed 22 April 2017]. The Weekly Times. 2016. Treasury Wines has changed its business to manage the risks of climate change. [ONLINE] Available at: https://www.weeklytimesnow.com.au/agribusiness/horticulture/treasury-wines-has-changed-its-business-to-manage-the-risks-of-climate-change/news-story/96fae8195a2fba4cf0602eabbf82cbf3. [Accessed 22 April 2017]. Treasury Wine Estates. 2017. About. [ONLINE] Available at: https://www.tweglobal.com/. [Accessed 22 April 2017].

Kuoni Travel free essay sample

Kuoni Travel Kuoni travel was founded in 1906 by Alfred Kuoni in Switzerland and it has been a long haul tour operator since 1966. Kuoni travel offers dream holidays to over 70 countries in the world. These holidays are luxurious and tailor made to fit the needs and wants of the customers. They offer a range of holidays such as secluded tropical island getaways, once in a life time safari trips and amazing city breaks. They also offer family holidays, all inclusive, beach, golf, spa and wedding packages. Kuoni Travel has gained competitive advantage in the travel services sector using a wide variety of ways. KUONI TRAVEL LTD has grown into not only the largest travel company in Switzerland, but also one of the leading travel organizations in the world†. This statement shows that Kuoni must have a large base of customers who are likely to be loyal and keep returning to enjoy the excellent service and products that Kuoni offers. We will write a custom essay sample on Kuoni Travel or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page Despite the economic downturn, the demand for holidays is still very high and in order for Kuoni to compete with the large range of travel agents available to customers they have â€Å"extended and improved their service to customers by increasing the number of tailor made package holidays available on their website. An example of how they have done this is by improving their website. Their website searches the market for flights and accommodations which then combine to form a package holiday and this service was available for departure dates up to 90 days ahead. However they have now increased this period to 150 days to give customers more flexibility which has lead to a significant increase in the amount of holidays being sold. Another way in which they have gained a competitive advantage is by investing in and upgrading to the new Power6 550 power system. This resulted in Kuoni becoming the first business in the UK and Europe which uses this system. The system means they have more storage and CPW on their machines which can process holidays quicker online. Patrick Beagles, IT Support Manager for Kuoni states â€Å"We’ve already achieved our ROI at least 3 times over, going through our Power i system every day during our busy period in January 2009. These are amazing figures in the current economic climate and not many people can say that† In 2008, Kuoni also rebranded their UK brochures to feature the new corporate identity. Award-winning designer Herbert Winkler created the World Class design brochure which would increase business for Kuoni as a stylish and interesting looking brochure is likely to increase customer interest. In April 2008, they opened their first Kuoni Flagship store in Kensington closely followed by a store in Manchester which opened in September 2008. By opening the stylish and smart retail outlets they exceeded expectations and by opening stores in more locations they are improving their brand image as well as making it easier and more convenient for customers to go in and book a holiday. Kuoni also redesigned its internet webpage with an updated look and feel that makes the online booking process easier. Kuoni have specialized sales teams for different holiday categories such as honeymoons, group travellers and the selling of last minute travel offers. This improves the customer service as they have a good knowledge of the particular customer they are dealing with and what they are looking for. If they are able to offer customers a high value of customer service they are increasing their competitive advantage. http://www.kuoni.co.uk/en/services/about_kuoni/Pages/about_kuoni. aspx http://www.kuoni.co.uk/EN/Services/about_kuoni/news/press_releases/Pages/IBM.aspx